milo parties like a rockstar!

milo's party was really fun....we made way too much food, it was a cupcake party and we made and decorated 100 cupcakes!

we also had a bunch of unfrosted ones for the kids to frost and decorate...

milo got some great presents and it was really nice to get everyone together to celebrate...

...we of course missed our family in maine and they were in our thoughts. happy (early) first birthday milo!

birthday party day!

today is the day of milo's first birthday party!! i will try to post some pictures either tonight or tomorrow so stay tuned....

video of milo being a cutie....

milo

a letter from daddy

From Daddy.

Almost a year ago, I was given a special birthday present few other dads can say they have ever received. Since that day my life has never been the same. It has been a year of joy and laughter. Pride and strength. It has also been filled with tears, worry, scares, and despair. Now this first year of your life is done and you journey into year two. I will be there with you. I will be there to hold your hand when all your hard work pays off and you take your first step. I will laugh and sing with you when you can hold your head up high and clap your hands.

The road this far has not been kind to you. The roads ahead may not be any less rocky. But at least now we will know different paths to take and if not we will get a bulldozer and just push right through. Because I know nothing will stop you from being the best you can be. The world is sometimes a cold and cruel place, but whenever I see your blue eyes shine at me and hear your gentle little laugh I know that there is hope. Hope for all of us.

You are strong. You are brave. You are Milo James Speed. You are my son.

I love you always, Dad


milo was born six weeks early last year on the day of his dad's birthday...it was a very unexpected birthday present since we were definitely not expecting him to make an appearance quite yet, but it was a very special day and we like to say that milo came early just to wish his dad a happy birthday.

a birthday quickly approaches

things have been a bit crazy around here with pt, ot, and speech therapy for milo three times a week now at our children's house...plus all of his doctors appointments and specialists which already kept us pretty busy. i feel like i'm never home, but busy is good because when your busy there is less time to think and dwell on things and become overwhelmed.

milo's birthday is coming up and i guess i never really thought about how i would feel about it...i mean of course i'm happy because it represents the fact that we all made it through this challenging year, and of course it's a birthday, which is suppose to be happy, right? but it also reminds me of all the things that a "normal" kid milo's age would be doing right now...learning to walk, saying words, even simple things like eating food...milo can't even hold his head up let alone sit or stand, and he is fed primarily through a feeding tube.

overall i accept the way things are at this point, but i still have my moments where i get stuck on thinking about how unfair it is, and his birthday has sort of stirred up all of those feelings. it also brings up the memories of how he came too early, and if he hadn't things might be so different...sigh. but that's just the negative emotions i've been feeling...and there is so much more positive than negative.

picture post

first of all here are some halloween pictures...

we went with the batman costume



and who doesn't love pictures of babies eating, with food all over their faces?


here's a couple of milo being silly in his crib...


and last but not least, to show off those beautiful blue eyes...

long overdue update...

i have not been a very good blogger lately...things have been a bit hectic around here. milo has started going to therapy three times a week at our children's house and we are trying to sort of find our flow and our routine...we are starting to get the hang of it. i am going to post a bunch of pictures later, i just haven't put them on the computer yet. milo's birthday is coming up in a couple weeks and so i am going to post the link to his wish list on amazon.com for those friends and family who have been asking for help on what milo might need. this is just a short post for now so that everyone knows were still here. i will write more later along with pics!

milo's wish list

poem

i recently came across this poem.....

GOD KNOWS A GOOD MOTHER
by Erma Bombeck


Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting His instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron saint, Matthew.

"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia.

"Rudledge, Carrie, twins. Patron saint... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it.

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'. She will not consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma" for the first time she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in midair.

God smiles. " A mirror will suffice."



i really liked certain parts of this poem...i don't think im a saint or anything, lol...but the part in the poem that says: "She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'. She will not consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma" for the first time she will be present at a miracle and know it!".....that part made me cry.

some equipment advice please....

so milo's birthday is coming up soon and im hoping it will be a chance to get a few much needed things that i have been putting off for financial reasons.

i have a general idea of what im looking for but am sort of lost on where to find what i need, what works best, etc.... so, here's what im looking for:

we need a high chair that is going to work for a one year old with very limited head control and so so trunk strength.

we would like to find a stroller that milo can sit upright in, or at least an attachment or something to put in the stroller that will help hold his head and body upright.

we need a really good, really comfortable, really supportive baby carrier...kind of like a snugli, or baby bjorn...but better.

that's all i cant think of right now, but i would also love suggestions on any equipment, activities, toys, whatever, that made life easier at this age...(keep in mind that milo has very limited vision as well). thanks!

help me decide....

my dad and step-mom came to visit over the weekend. they live in maine and try to get to dallas every three months or so. it was a really nice weekend, and it really reminded me of how much milo has changed and how far he has come since the last time they came...he has really progressed alot and i am so proud.


on an unrelated note...i've been shopping around for a cute halloween costume for milo...i'm really excited about his first halloween and can't wait to take tons of really adorable pictures!!
so far i kind of like this little batman costume,

and this darth vador costume....

but i also like this monkey costume

and this bat costume from old navy...

any opinions? lets take a vote on which is the cutest!